Obligatory rant: I despise my former bootlegging brethren, or "fansubbers" as they are more commonly known. With regards to the anime shopping in this guide, it is intended for those who buy for his or her own personal enjoyment, but not for the people who pirate in the greater name of "spreading anime" to their customers, sponsors, patrons, etc. As I cannot prevent them from reading this, I'll have to settle for this parting shot: FUCK YOU, FANSUBBERS. FUCK YOUR FANSUB DISTRIBUTORS TOO.

All right, on with the show. In the last couple versions of this guide, we focused primarily on shopping for anime. This time, we try to cover shopping for all sorts of shit, especially porn. (By porn I refer to cartoon porn, not live-action stuff.) My God, and I will repeat this time and time again throughout this guide, porn is the third leg of the Iron Triangle: anime, manga, porn. For your viewing pleasure, we offer directions to various locales in:

Akihabara
Ikebukuro
Nakano
Shibuya/Shinjuku
Suidobashi/Jinbocho
Other Places Outside of Tokyo

What shopping in Tokyo has done for me.
Also check out the bizarre commentary of a Cheap Bastard.
Last but not least, some fucking links fo' yo' ass.

This is the last incarnation of Cheap Bastard's Tokyo Shopping Guide. Cheap Bastard probably won't be going back to Japan for a long time, plus he already has most of the laserdiscs he's ever wanted.

In time, this shopping guide will become obsolete. However, until that fateful day, I would like to say:

Information-wise, entertainment-wise, pornographic-wise, this shopping guide is pound for fucking pound better than any other goddamn on-line Tokyo shopping guide out there. You fuckers know who you are!

...so gimme my goddamn props.

Disclaimer: all the shit described on these pages was true as of December 25th, 2000. (Yes, I went shopping on Christmas Day.) Some of it is even true as of May 26th, 2001. (Yes, Cheap Bastard went back to Japan for another round. Not much changed, but there's a few new things here and there.) The information that's really shaky is stuff outside of Tokyo and Yokohama, as we don't really fuck around anymore in other parts of Japan. All the same, I don't want to hear you bitching at me if a store is no longer there, or if you get lost. Stores in Japan like to grow legs and fucking move, plus the directions make perfect sense to me. =P

Props: I'd like to give mad shouts out to Pops for letting me crash at his pad for three years now, Verge for taking the pictures/playing Lewis to my Clark in this expedition/hauling my heavy-ass LD boxes up the damn hill home (repeatedly)/doing heavy-duty editing on my fine prose, Keroppi for checking out places I didn't want to go, Masa for showing me the anime/manga places in Sannomiya, A.K. and his folks for letting me crash at their place the first couple times I went to Japan, A.K. again for getting me to Akihabara on the first trip, Mr. Self for telling where to shop in Akihabara, Lee Bourgeous for passing me the '96 Tokyo Shopping guide, Jeff for corrupting an anime fan with hentai manga, Kev for the October update, and the Beefbowl crew for being rude and obnoxious.

You can't talk to me. You can talk to Verge, at least until he gets too much spam and I pull his e-mail address from the page. Anyhow, I have gotten props on the directions, and that is good. I have also gotten questions about various anime series and so forth, which is not good. Cheap Bastard is not a frickin' anime encylopedia. Give me props by spreading Cheap Bastard's Tokyo Shopping Guide to the masses (again, the link is http://www.arcade4home.com/CheapBastardsTokyoAnimeShoppingGuide/). Otherwise, quit buggin' me. Seriously.

Welcome to Cheap Bastards's Tokyo Shopping Guide

Information-wise, entertainment-wise, pornographic-wise, this shopping guide is pound for fucking pound better than any other goddamn on-line Tokyo shopping guide out there. You fuckers know who you are!